top 15 game show hosts (according to time magazine)

#15 bob barker- When he took over the old stunt game show Truth or Consequences in 1956, Bob Barker was a handsome young hotshot replacing the balding veteran Jack Bailey. More than 50 years later (divided between T. or C. and The Price Is Right, the show from which he's finally about to retire), Barker never lost his utterly natural charm or self-effacing people skills. Quick-witted but never showy, mocking but never cruel, warm but never maudlin, Barker may have let his hair go white (with the network's approval), but he never aged.

#14 groucho marx
#13 garry moore
#12 gene rayburn
#11 bill cullen
#10 pat sajak
#9 dick clark
#8 monty hall
#7 bob eubanks
#6 alex trebek- I've still got a soft spot for Art Fleming, the stodgy gent who hosted NBC's original daytime version in the '60s and '70s. But you have to hand it to Trebek, the journeyman host of forgettable games like High Rollers and Battlestars, for taking a show that was considered too intelligent for TV and making it one of the most durable and popular of all time. Proof that having no discernible personality is the road to longevity on television. As long as you can put it in the form of a question.

#5 johnny carson
#4 jack barry
#3 anne robinson (weakest link fame)
#2 richard dawson
#1 regis philbin

to be honest, when i looked at this list, i might have it backwards. because bob barker has to be on the top of that list. but time didn't really specify the order (at least not on the online edition that i read). i'd like to add some honorable mentions to this list:

marc summers. he was like one of my childhood heroes. he hosted double dare. the one game show i wanted to appear on when i was a kid.

howie mandel. i don't even watch deal or no deal, but anyone who has made a gameshow with suitcases exciting deserves to be on this list.

chuck woolery. the guy's a freakin' legend. seriously.

kevin connolly sticks to another less famous sister

according to people magazine:
Entourage's Kevin Connolly, acting very attentive toward Haylie Duff at Hyde Lounge in Los Angeles. The two sat at a table with Hilary Duff and others, though they made several trips upstairs to smoke together. Back inside, Connolly showed plenty of affection, keeping his arm around Duff's waist as she chatted with girlfriends. Meanwhile, Hilary was having a ball, dancing around and lip-synching to '80s remixes. Also making the scene: Lauren Conrad, Brody Jenner and Calum Best

first nicky hilton. now, haylie duff? i mean, paris has herpes (remember that valtrex found in her storage locker?), so keep off that lawn. but haylie duff...hmmm. i mean. she did make that maxim hot 100 list (they must have run out of girls under 35). but hilary's single, right? there are just some celebrity couples i just don't understand.

message in a bottle

a friend of mine sent me this. no need for a description. just let the photo's creepiness/adorableness soak in.

it's official: jessica alba doesn't take bad pictures. ever.

jessica alba in the upcoming issue of PARADE magazine (you know, that insert magazine in your sunday paper). apparently she loves scotch, likes golf, and thinks there's nothing wrong with playing sue storm.

On playing the role of Sue Storm… “People in the business made me feel that it was going to be a problem that I was playing Sue Storm, a blue-eyed blonde, but I didn't see any problem with it myself. Cate Blanchett dyes her hair any color that she needs to for her roles, and nobody cares. People transform themselves for roles everyday—it's called being an actor. It's no big deal—we play dress up for a living. We pretend—we tell stories for entertainment purposes. The only thing I did do was wear contacts to make my eyes blue. And as for most women in Hollywood? They're not real blondes, anyway!”

On her golf game… “I like to play golf. Is that real dorky? When I’m chilled out and relaxed, my long game is better. I can drive the ball two hundred yards, and that’s not bad. It’s just a game for now, but when I’m on the senior tour, then we’ll have to talk again.”

The Scotch connoiseur… Robert Masello, who interviewed Alba for PARADE, says: “Our waiter at the Polo Lounge, a very friendly fellow named Jeremy, knew Jessica from her previous visits, and he also knew what she liked. He instantly brought her the house list of single malt scotches, and together they had quite a lengthy chat about the various brands, and their relative smoky or peaty flavors. I was intrigued to hear these two experts going at it—especially when one of them happened to be the lovely young Ms. Alba. I always thought it was crusty old men who drank these expensive scotches. Now I know better."

it's official. between her beautiful pictures and her down to earth demeanor in this article, she might be the chick i want to be when i grow up...except i think she's younger than me. so i guess i'll stick with wanting to be salma hayek when i grow up. except she's supes pregnant right now. hmm...i'll have to get back to you.

now even muggles can visit hogwarts...in 2009

breaking news! according to the bbc, jk rowling has given the okay to make every young (and old) harry potter fan's dream come true. she has signed off on the building of a harry potter theme park!
according to the video (which you can see here), construction will start in a few weeks and will be located at universal studios theme park in florida. there will be a hogwarts castle and quidditch!
is there a fandango for theme park tickets so i can reserve my spot 2 years in advance?

photo-op of the day: like mother like son daughter son(?)

i thought celine dion gave birth to a little boy? surely this child cannot be little rene-charles, can it?

i just hope that the money from this photo shoot goes to put him in the witness protection program or something. either that or a haircut from frederic fekkai. because if this kid doesn't chop off that mop, he's gonna need to go into hiding to avoid all of the taunting and teasing on the playground. and school. and everywhere else with people around.

michael lohan sells out his daughter....again.

according to the associated press, lindsay's dad told e! news that his daughter not only has an alcohol addiction, but an addiction to oxycontin as well.

well it's a good thing lindsay's in rehab and she has her dad to help intervene with her substance abuse problem, otherwise she'd end up looking like jack from lost (get it, cause he was hooked on oxycontin. get it?).

on a related note, it seems lindsay is "happy in rehab". if she really is happy in rehab, then something is definitely wrong. you're supposed to be going through withdrawal and unhappy and miserable in rehab. someone send these celebrities to a real rehab facility in nebraska, or somewhere else in the middle of america. keep them there til they accomplish all twelve steps. then take it from there.

hear here: new chris cornell album

the album won't be in stores til june 5th (which is only a week away), but much music has chris cornell's album "carry on" streaming online. check it out here.

no longer an eligible bachelor

last year's american idol winner (and people magazine's 2006 most eligible bachelor) taylor hicks was seen frolicking on the beach...with a GIRL! i don't know why this is surprising. the guy's like 40 years old.

apparently the mystery woman is a morning anchor at a local milwaukee affiliate.

eh, why not? i guess even taylor hicks needs a little love.

stars, they're just like us!

according to a press release i received this morning, random celebrities will join together for a charitable cause. they will be donating their time to be waiters at sapa to benefit project a.l.s.

the event will take place monday, june 11th in new york city. so if you have $300 to donate (or money to burn) you can get in on this dinner for a good cause. and who knows, you could have someone as cool as rob riggle serve you or someone like mtv vj susie castillo. other "celebrities" that will be there to serve patrons include:

Ted Allen (Queer Eye, Top Chef), Kevin Covert (Spamalot), Rachel Dratch (30 Rock, Saturday Night Live), Bryant Gumbel (Real Sports - HBO, NFL Network), Richard Kind (Curb Your Enthusiasm, Spin City), Aasif Mandvi (The Daily Show, Jericho), Julianna Margulies (Sopranos, Snakes on a Plane, ER), Rob Morrow (Numb3rs, Northern Exposure) , among others.

bon appetit!

top o' the mornin' news

*nicole richie: skinny bitch + socialite= tasteless memorial day party invite? if you went to the party, i hope you force fed her a burger. (us weekly)

*in an order to be more environmentally conscious, cbs/paramount television has decided not to waste energy and resources into dvds, but instead put their shows online for academy voters to watch. al gore is so happy right now he could cry. (buzzsugar)

*paris hilton apparently "breaks down crying a lot" and is dreading jail. ahhh, finally, something in the world is right. (people)

*bill o'reilly and donald trump spend quality time together by loving each other and hating rosie o'donnell. (tmz)

hmm....i guess jordin sparks lied about ever having voice lessons. that's ok, we still love her. (msnbc)

*in the midst of mediocre third film installments (spider-man, shrek, pirates), hollywood had it's biggest memorial day weekend in box office history with $255.3 million. (hollywood reporter)

*reason #4,873 that i love barack obama. he wants to tax the wealthy and propose universal healthcare. yeah, it probably wouldn't happen, but a girl can dream, right? (cnn)

ladies & gentlemen: blake lewis, first place loser

according to people.com, blake lewis is "glad he didn't win". now while i'm all for being a gracious loser and good manners and all that crap, to go as far as to say that he's glad he "didn't win" is a giant load of crap.

"I never looked at it as winning and losing. I just tried going out and performing really well each day," the 25-year-old says. "In a sense, I’m kind of glad I didn't win just for like contractual reasons. I think if you're first you might have to come back for like three years or something."

so he's glad he didn't win so he didn't have to contractually obligated to idol? he's a nobody from washington state who spits and beatboxes. i mean, granted he was unique to the competition, but to already be outgrowing the show that made you. seriously? it's been less than a week. why don't you wait until AFTER the idol tour (so you can collect that big fat paycheck) and complain then. until that, shut your mouth and make whatever album they throw your way.

the healing process begins

it's been nearly a week since the infamous heated debate between rosie and elisabeth that caused rosie to leave the view three weeks earlier than scheduled. but who can blame her? i wouldn't want to go back (although i really wish she would, because the view will suck without her).

here's a message from barbara and elisabeth. apparently "the healing process" has begun, and rosie is welcome to come back "whenever she wants".



i think i'll side on team rosie on this one. and maybe sign this petition in the meantime.

(video via tmz on brightcove)

trouble in paradise

apparently on-again/off-again couple john mayer and jessica simpson went on a little holiday in cabo san lucas, mexico. but by the looks of these photos, looks like they might very well be headed toward off-again.

do you think he's mad at her for going blonde again? actually, in that first picture, they both look pretty bummed. but in that second photo, she looks a little pissed. i don't think i've seen jessica smpson with a temper. but i think it's adorable that he's holding onto jessica's dog daisy while they argue. how these two lasted this long is beyond me. but they are sorta cute together.

(photos via popsugar)

heidi klum names her lady lumps

according to msnbc, heidi klum not only loves her boobies, she has names for them:

Heidi Klum says she has names for her boobs. She calls one Hans and the other Franz. “They’re German,” she explained.

now, i know that hans and franz are german names...and she's german. so, i get it. but i have to say when i hear hans and franz, i can't help but think of this SNL sketch:

sarah silverman loves a prank

according to the ny post, when people call the number listed on the 2007 MTV Movie Awards promotional poster (which reads: For a good time, call 1-877-SARAH07), they get a recorded message from silverman and her dog telling callers they’re going to die. sounds fun, right? well some woman in lewisville, texas thinks otherwise.


A BELEAGUERED receptionist for Horizon Health Sales & Development company in Lewisville, Texas, sent a scathing e-mail to MTV last week after receiving hundreds of calls from Sarah Silverman fans.


apparently the woman in lewisville has an 800 number, not the 877 number that is on the mtv billboard ad with silverman. sidenote: my mom lives in lewisville texas. i'm not saying she's the one complaining, but the evidence does point to her. well, except for the fact that she doesn't work for that health care company. oh well, sorry mom.

la lohan wants to make more music

according to mtv news:

Lindsay Lohan says it's a little strange being #1 on Maxim's "Hot 100." "It's really flattering," she told MTV News last week, "but it does get kind of awkward." Lohan also revealed that she plans to begin work on a new album soon. "We'll start in probably June or July and take four months," she explained. Lohan said she's collaborating with Maverick Records CEO Guy Oseary on the disc, which will have an "urban pop" sound.

hmmm...i have no idea what "urban pop"sounds like, but i'm willing to take a few guesses:

• nails scratching on a chalkboard
• the sanitation department trucks collecting garbage on a friday morning
• a bulemic puking into a toilet
• 30 seconds to mars

i think i'll pass on lindsay's music...again.

girlfight: the never ending saga between rosie & elisabeth

janette barber was here.

according to the ny post, rosie o'donnell's cheif writer on the view was escorted out of the building for drawing mustaches on pictures of co-host elisabeth hasselbeck that hang in the view offices.

The Post's Adam Buckman reports ABC confirmed in a statement only that "photographs at 'The View's' offices were defaced. Rosie O'Donnell was not in the building. ABC Legal and Human Resources are investigating the matter." Barber is an old friend of O'Donnell who worked with her years ago on "The Rosie O'Donnell Show."

i guess big girls (and their friends) do cry.

michael moore's sicko

michael moore makes another wacky documentary that's sure to create a domino effect of controversy (and if you read teh news, you know it already has). the idea of health care in america depresses me. especially when the trailer reveals that although we're the richest nation in the world, we're number 37 in the world as far as health care. sheesh.

my open letter to the producers of american idol following last night's 2-hour finale.

dear AI producers,

let me just say that i'm glad you guys picked america voted jordin sparks as the winner. i love blake lewis, but let's face it, they're both winners at this point, so it doesn't matter anyway. clive davis probably already has both of their mega-produced albums all planned out already.

i was happy to see melinda dolittle perform with the winans (not to be confused with the wayans). and the boy and girl medleys were cute. and thank goodness that you got permission to sing beatles songs. now if you could only get michael jackson to approve his catalogue, you'll be all set.

i will say this though, WTF!?!?!?! my DVR cut off before you got anywhere close to announcing the winner. i was still watching the end of some blake and jordin performance or some crap. and while it was fun to bring back the bush baby and his friend, were that many golden statues really necessary? you're not the oscars. you're not the emmys (in fact, you turned down to produce the emmys this year to focus on idol). remember the whole point of this two hour finale? so we can reveal the winner??!?! thanks to your show running long, my dvr cut off and i had to watch some news program recap it in 30 seconds (which to be honest, is all i should've watched anyway).

watching past idols was fun. but this year's show was a snoozefest compared to last year (clay aiken and his superfan, crying hasselhoff, mother f**king PRINCE!). although you did bring back the crying girl (and sanjaya) and a sentimental jerry springer, it just wasn't the same. and as for the non-past idol winner performers, it just showed me how much smokey robinson, gladys knight, and tony bennett have aged. and way to try and up the "cool factor" by bringing in green day. *sidenote: really green day? american idol? i expect better from you. and sanjaya and joe perry? music might as well be dead.

i'm glad jordin took the crown, but you let me down. actually, i'm glad you're not producing the emmys. just focus on what you do best: going city to city in search of the next superstar (i.e. just slightly better than karaoke singer).

xoxo

p.s. i TOTES picked jordin as the winner.

p.p.s. i'm glad i watched lost over your finale. at least my dvr didn't cut THAT off. that show was effin' AWESOME.

girlfight- rosie and elisabeth- UPDATE

in regards to the bitchfest on today's episode of the view, people.com is reporting comments from elisabeth:

"I am fine," Hasselbeck, 29, tells TV's Extra. "We are used to debating things there. You have women who care a lot about things." Despite the harsh words exchanged, there's no lingering resentment, she says: "The best thing about today is that there's no slow boil, none. It's there, it's an issue, it's dealt with and it's over. If there are tensions, [and] obviously there was, it's dealt with in the moment."

meanwhile, rosie wrote this on her blog: a split screen\new heights\ or lows\depending on who u ask

rosie also wrote she will not be in tomorrow because her wife kelli is turning 40. looks like they'll avoid the awkward day at work...for now.

girlfight- rosie and elisabeth, round 157

ever since rosie arrived on the view in september, it became eminent that elisabeth and rosie would square off politically at least once a week. and that's pretty much exactly what's happened. this is the third day in a row (or at least the third day) that they have talked about rosie's comments that led to fox news saying "rosie thinks our troops our terrorists". being that i can't stand fox news and most definitely don't agree with anything that comes out of elisabeth's mouth, i'm gonna side with rosie on this one. if anything because once she leaves, the view is gonna be BO-RING! but anyway, in case you haven't read about or seen this clip in 6,583 other blogs, here you go.

(clips courtesy of BWE)

preview: tonight's american idol- the final two, night two

so last night, jordin and blake took the stage at the famed kodak theater and performed their "greatest hits"...or songs they have already performed this season, with the exception of the last song titled "this is my now". the song was the winner of a submission contest and i will say that although still cheesy, still way better than last year's "do i make you proud?". and with that said, simon and randy did remind the viewers that above all, american idol is a singing competition. so with that said, i pick jordin as the winner. although, never underestimate the power of the 12 year old girls (aka, blake's fanbase). highlights from last night's episode:
-random c-list celebs (aka, kathy griffin).
-ryan seacrest calling paula/her dog "a bitch" (we all know he was talking about paula).
-seeing jordin choke up toward the end of singing her last song. that girl knows she's gonna win.
-paula (and her hair) looking like a complete mess
-paula having complete disregard for the fact that it's a live show and saying "hi" to chris daughtry while ryan introduces him

john mayer: singer. songwriter. comedian.

this weekend, john mayer made a surprise appearance at nyc's comedy cellar.* now, he's definitely a better musican than a comedian, but to be honest, he's not that bad. it's no "john mayer has a tv show" (which was a fantastic show. i don't care what anyone says). but a good effort. and fortunately for you, someone got part of his stand up on tape and put it on youtube. so although i'm sure they were praying for another michael richards incident, instead you get jokes about carrie underwood. check it out:




*sidenote: he is friends with regular cellar performer sherrod small, so this actually shouldn't be that surprising.

preview: tonight's american idol- the final two

so after the tens of thousands of freakshows, karaoke singers, and talented kids, the american idol finale is finally upon us.

ahhh, it seems like yesterday i was laughing with (and at) ian benardo.

so tonight, it's jordin vs. blake. and like i mentioned last week, i'm not sure who i want to win. on one hand, i think blake is amazing and different and jordin is only 17 and she has plenty of time to become a superstar. on the other hand, jordin clearly has a talent and has a beautiful voice and could become the next kelly clarkson.

hmmm...and on the other hand, i'm waaaaaay too invested in this already. just watch their performances tonight. vote at that 877 number. watch tomorrow's stretched out (but sure to be awesome) 2-hour finale to see who wins.

mcconaughey has lost his marbles for realsies this time

tmz has posted a link on their website to a video of matthew mcconaughey that, in my opinion, is crazier than playing bongos naked. don't think it's possible?

take a look at this video of freebird matt jumping around with palm tree leaves in each hand and covered in mud and jumping around. it's as weird as it sounds. and even if it's a scene from his upcoming movie surfer dude, i still think he's effin' nuts.

orlando bloom "likes the idea of love"

attention ladies! in a recent interview with the UK mirror, orlando bloom talks about dating and relationships (or lack there of):

On Dating: "I find the whole dating thing very hard actually. Well, dating the girl I feel 'right' with, I mean. But I am a romantic and I like the idea of being in love, of thinking about that person all day long. And kids are next for the star, who says: "I'd like to start a family one day and live more of a real existence, instead of being all over the place."

On his Relationship with Kate Bosworth: "Kate was on one side of the world, in Australia shooting Superman, and I was on the other, in the Bahamas for Pirates. So we tried giving each other a bit of time out. And, well, there were difficulties. There are in any relationship...In our case, it was extremely unfortunate that everything was on public display. I have always tried to keep my cards close to my chest - while wearing my heart on my sleeve - but it is a really hard thing to do."

well, sounds like he's in no hurry to be in a relationship. but more like he enjoys playing the field while searching for "the right girl". or at least a girl that's more than a skeleton with fake blonde hair. so if he's in the market for a not white girl over 100 pounds who isn't famous, sign me up!

recap: heroes "how to stop an exploding man"

*spoiler alert: if you did not watch last night's heroes, do not continue reading.*

so last night was the season one finale of heroes. we were promised that if they "saved the cheerleader" they would save the world. and i do have to say that although i thought the episode was good, the ending was a bit anti-climactic. there was no big super cliffhanger. i mean, hiro did teleport himself into the 15th century. but that doesn't make me squeal "omg i can't wait til next season".

so here's what happened:
-molly (the tracking system) did not die.
-the boring family (niki, micah, and DL) are still alive
-parkman was dumb enough to try and "shoot" sylar, and ended up getting his own bullets to the chest.
-hiro finally fufilled his destiny of stabbing sylar
-claire was reunited with mr. bennett, aka "noah"
-nathan came to peter's (and new york city's) rescue and flew away with him so he could explode in the sky, as opposed to manhattan

NOW, here are my questions:
-is parkman dead? he's kinda boring. now that peter absorbed his power, can they just kill him off?
-speaking of killing off characters, niki/dl storyline. please. spare me. we can save micah since he's a kid.
-who is this mystery bad guy molly speaks of that is "worse" than sylar? i smell a season 2 villain.
-did nathan die when peter exploded? is peter dead?
-how did NO ONE see sylar go down to the sewer. i'm assuming he's still alive.
-why did the writer's say reade street was on the lower east side? that's just lazy fact checking.
-and speaking of lazy, when peter was passed out on a nyc street, there was NO ONE ELSE walking down the street or sidewalk. really??
-what the hell is grandma petrelli's power????

all in all, a good finale. tonight, idol performances. tomorrow, idol results and 2-hour lost finale! eeek!

recap: the office- "the job- parts 1 and 2"

*spoiler alert- if you have NOT watched last night's finale episode, do not keep reading*

last night was the 3rd season finale of the office. at the beginning of the episode, we see michael in the lobby of dunder-mifflin corporate offices in new york. when cfo david wallace walks in, he looks surprised to see michael since his interview isn't until the next day. right off the bat, off to a funny start.

so here basically is a summary of the events that happened last night (summary from nbc):

the office is still buzzing from the events of their day at the beach. a job opening in corporate pits coworker against coworker as michael, jim, and karen all head to new york for final interviews. in scranton, dwight’s new regime institutes sweeping reforms, pam plays an interesting role and jan comes in with exciting news.

so here's what that means:

-scranton dunderlings tease pam about what she said at the beach, but she has no regrets

-michael, karen, and jim all go to ny to interview for a corporate job, which turns out to be jan's job as they are going to fire her

-michael tells jan, she flips out and michael "respectfully" withdraws his name for consideration. jan is fired and escorted out.

-dwight is picked by michael as his successor. needless to say the news goes to his head

-and jan's exciting news...wait for it...a boob job.

-creed has a blog titled creed thoughts.

the episode ended with RYAN getting the job (surprise twist!). and for the pam/jim cliffhanger...click here to watch.

Upfronts: CW and Fox do their thing

The CW is adding four new shows to it's fall line up, which means there were a few shows that didn't get to return next year. among one of the biggest fan disappointments is the cancellation of veronica mars. also cancelled: 7th heaven, all of us. among the surprising returning shows are supernatural (secret yay!) and one another season of the pussycat dolls.

over in FOX land, they ordered four new dramas, three new comedies, and three "unscripted" (i.e. reality of some sort) shows. one of those comedies is the rules for starting over starring rashida jones. does this mean a corporate fate for the office's karen?

side note: i know this has been a slow post day (i still haven't done a lost recap, which was GREAT). i'm swamped at work. my real jobby job.

spoiler alert...and the top model winner is...

...jaslene!

after 13(?) bitchy girls, they finally narrowed it down to three last night. it was between renee (the older twenty-something mom), natasha (russian import, possible mail order bride), and jaslene (the young chicagoian latina with sassitude).

so at the first elimination, renee was told she photographed "too old" (which is exactly what one of my friends predicted). at when it came down to the wire, it was clear that jaslene was the better of her and natasha.

so yet another top model that will probably get mediocre modeling jobs for years to come. congrats!

e-mail of the day

hilarious, but true, e-mail that i got just moments ago:

Casting ImmediatelyPaid - On Air - Major Cable Network
Male - (Age Range Flexible) "Butler Type" for taping of show on Monday in Manhattan. Must have AMAZING / Strong speaking voice (will be announcing names as guests walk in. Like a butler would at a High End party in a stately mansion). Commanding - "butler like" presence is essential.**If you have a BUTLER uniform / outfit EVEN BETTER!Real butler experience would be awesome - but not required.Must Contact Us TODAY

Send PICTURE(s) (JPEG) / Contact Info / Bio right away to:TVCASTING@gmail.com

recap: american idol - and then there were two...

well, let me take a moment to swallow my pride (and claire voyant skills) and say i was COMPLETELY WRONG on who i thought was going home. but i also said that if i had my way, it would be blake and jordin in the finals. so let's just take a moment to say YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!! but now, more than ever, i'm kinda torn. i love blake, but i love jordin.

ahhhh, so last night we saw more of the contestant's home town visits. everyone got an honorary day in their home town. blake had cute, sentimental moments with his dad (he called him "daddy", awwww).

there was also a performance from last year's melinda doolittle (i.e. last year's 3rd place), elliott yamin. the funny thing is as i was watching it (for about five seconds before i decided to fast forward through it), i thought to myself "this sounds like music my mom would like". an hour later i talk to my mom on the phone and she says "who was that guy that performed? i like him. i might have to look for his cd." NO JOKE. at least elliott yamin has a fan base of 50-something moms (i love you mom).

so next week, the AI finale. and if last year's finale is any indication, it's going to be RI-DUNK-ULOUS!

preview: tonight's lost "greatest hits"

well, lost has been on a winning streak if you ask me (especially after last week's MIND BLOWING episode). tonight sounds like it's going to keep the streak alive and set up a bunch of stuff for the two hour finale next week.

here's the official summary from abc:

While Jack devises a plan to do away with "The Others" once and for all, Sayid uncovers a flaw in "The Others'" system that could lead to everyone's rescue. But it requires Charlie to take on a dangerous task that may make Desmond's premonition come true.

for clips of tonight's AWESOME looking episode, click here. jack kinda looks like he might be cool again.

also, a friend of mine sent me this CRAZY (but so crazy it might actually be perfect) theory about the entire existence of the island. if you're up to reading it, click here. not a spoiler, just a theory.

BUT, if you are in a spoiler-y mood, another friend of mine sent me spoiler for tonight's episode and next week's two hour finale. like, these are REALLY BIG spoilers. consider yourself warned. if you click here, there's no turning back. not sure if they are foilers, but i will say that if even HALF of the stuff they say actually ends up happening in the finale, it will be the best finale lost has had in it's three seasons. like MAJOR cliffhanger.

ok, so watch tonight. go on living your life.

BET awards nominations

the BET award nominations were announced today (oh and they announced the tony award nods yesterday).

beyonce (surprise, surprise) tops the list of nominees with six nominations (one which SHOULD be for stupidest album title). other nominees include: jay-z (yay), jennifer hudson (still riding dreamgirls wave), ciara (zzzz), akon (smack that!) and gnarls barkley (honor to be nominated) earned three nominations each.

mo'nique will return as host for the event which will air live from the shrine auditorium in LA on june 26th.

also diana ross will receive the lifetime achievement award (the "your older than a mummy" award) and don cheadle will be awarded with a humanitarian (you are more selfless than other celebs) awards.

50 cent and T.I. will be among the performers.

now correct me, but has a shoot out or some sort of attack ever happened at the BET awards? the source awards, duh. but BET? has it happened before? because if the answer's "yes" then MAYBE i'll tune in.

paris uses monopoly card

according to people magazine, it is very possible that paris hilton might only serve HOURS of her 45 day sentence.

"She could be processed into jail and processed out hours later – that's possible," says spokesman Steve Whitmore, whose department runs the jail. It would mainly be due to the jail overcrowding issue. It all depends on the inmate population at the time she's processed." Whitmore adds: "But the public can expect that the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department will make the best decision for everyone involved. We will treat [Hilton] as we would any other. That's our goal."

treat her like ANY other? would you let a drug dealer serve only hours of their 45 day sentence? looks like that "get out of jail free card" might exist. but you have to be a celebrity and extremely bratty to use it.

i'd be happy if she just served a week. please god, let it be at least a week.

screw the axe effect, i'm on the bruce campbell bandwagon

take this commercial for old spice. yep, OLD SPICE. just hearing the brand makes me think gross and stinky. but throw in bruce campbell, this commercial equals AMAZINGNESS. add in cool duran duran song, it belongs in the awesome hall of fame. so without further adieu, bruce campbell singing a la richard cheese and lounge against the machine, but waaaaay cooler.




(via bwe)

One Stooge To Rule Them All

Elijah Wood (aka Hobbit) is set to play Iggy Pop in a biopic. In other news, Samuel L. Jackson is going to play me in my biopic. Because I want him to.

(via Tripwire)

recap: american idol brings it

last night we got not one or two, but THREE songs from the three remaining contestants. jordin, blake, and melinda each got to sing a judge's choice, producer's choice, and their choice.here's what they went with:
jordin
judge's choice- simon picks "wishing on a star"
producer's choice- "she works hard for the money"
contestant's choice- "i who have nothing"

blake
judge's choice- crazy paula picks "roxanne"
producer's choice- "this love"
contestant's choice- "when i get you alone"

melinda
judge's choice- randy picks a tough song "i belive in you and me"
producer's choice- "nutbush city limits"
contestant's choice- "i'm a woman"

overall, i have to say i agreed with the judges as to the contestants finally bringing it. although, they are the top three, so if they can't cut it by now, they are in deep shit.

so here's my assessment of last night and who i think is going home. the judges ADORE melinda beyond words. simon even went as far as saying he "loved her little striptease" (she only took off her jacket, but for a conservative girl like melinda, that is a striptease). i think by far, she is the one they want to take home the crown. i think blake ABSOLUTELY has a strong fan base. so who does that leave? jordin. but, if i had to make an educated guess, i'm gonna have to say that melinda will be in the bottom two with jordin because her fan base isn't as big as blake's. but, i'm sticking to my gut and saying jordin's journey ends tonight. blake and melinda will be in the finals next week (if i had my way it would be blake and jordin all the way!).

but don't cry for jordin. that girl can sing! and maybe she can do guest roles on ugly betty as her long lost sister!

the imus effect continues

although the don imus incident was about a month and a half ago, other people are still feeling the reprecussions.

last week, xm satellite/cbs radio dj's opie & anthony had a homeless man on the air that made "inappropriate comments" about secretary of state condoleeza rice. although an apology had been issued by both the dj's and an xm representative, it just wasn't enough. xm has suspended them from their program for 30 days. they will continue to be on their cbs radio as scheduled (for now).

also, as of this monday, cbs radio dj's jv and elvis were fired from their syndicated program. they were previously suspended without pay for performing a prank phone call on a chinese restaurant that apparently contained ethnic and racial slurs.

according to radio online: The call was originally aired by JV and Elvis on April 5, and then replayed it two weeks later. During the call, a female employee of a Chinese restaurant was told by the caller he would like to "come to your restaurant" to see her naked, so he can see her "hot, spicy, Asian ass." The caller also attempted to order "flied lice," before threatening, "I am training in kung fu, bitch." He also repeatedly cursed at several employees.

now i'm all for people being repremanded for their unsuitable actions. and needless to say what each of these dj's did is inexcusable. but at what point does it become a violation of first ammendment rights?

i think that what people say can definitely affect other people's opinions (why do you think i write in this blog?). but with that said, if people don't like what they hear, see, or read, they have the option of turning the other way or turning it off.

with that said, i hate mexicans get it, cause i'm mexican-american, i can say that. right? oh shit. i'm in trouble, aren't i?

upfronts: cbs is still for old people

well, i'm not a big fan of cbs. i associate it with people my parents' age and octogenarians. BUT, there was one bit of news that made me over the moon happy with joy. HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER GOT RENEWED FOR A THIRD SEASON! YAY!!!!!!! as much as i do think cbs is for old people, it is one of the best comedies on tv.

so, back to the upfronts. seventeen of the current shows will return to the line up in the fall. only five new series will be added including:

"VIVA LAUGHLIN," Where Drama is Accented by Iconic Music
"CANE," Starring Jimmy Smits as the Head of a Powerful South Florida Cuban Family
"MOONLIGHT," a Romantic Thriller with a New Twist on the Vampire Legend
"THE BIG BANG THEORY," a Comedy About Genius Geeks
and "KID NATION," a New Reality Series Where 40 Kids Try to Build a New Society in an Abandoned Ghost Town

that sounds like a crap reality show, but other than that, the shows sound pretty solid. i still won't watch though. well, except maybe that vampire show. with that said, here is the fall line up. jerry bruckheimer still owns half the line up with all the CSI shows and amazing race.

MONDAY
8:00-8:30 PM HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
8:30-9:00 PM THE BIG BANG THEORY (N)
9:00-9:30 PM TWO AND A HALF MEN
9:30-10:00 PM RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
10:00-11:00 PM CSI: MIAMI

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM NCIS
9:00-10:00 PM THE UNIT
10:00-11:00 PM CANE (N)

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM KID NATION (N)
9:00-10:00 PM CRIMINAL MINDS
10:00-11:00 PM CSI: NY

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM SURVIVOR
9:00-10:00 PM CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION
10:00-11:00 PM WITHOUT A TRACE (NT)

FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM GHOST WHISPERER
9:00-10:00 PM MOONLIGHT (N)
10:00-11:00 PM NUMB3RS

SATURDAY
8:00-9:00 PM CRIMETIME SATURDAY
9:00-10:00 PM CRIMETIME SATURDAY
10:00-11:00 PM 48 HOURS: MYSTERY

SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 PM 60 MINUTES
8:00-9:00 PM VIVA LAUGHLIN (N)
9:00-10:00 PM COLD CASE
10:00-11:00 PM SHARK (NT)

(N=New, NT=New Time, all times ET/PT)

(via the futon critic)

headline of the day

Man accidentally shoots himself without a gun
LAKE LUZERNE, New York (AP) -- A young man shot himself without using a gun.
Damion M. Mosher, who put bullets in a vise and whacked them with a hammer to empty the brass shell casings, was hit in the abdomen by one of the shots, authorities said.
Warren County deputies said they were called to Mosher's home in Lake Luzerne on Saturday afternoon after one bullet went about a half-inch into his abdomen. He was treated at Glens Falls Hospital and was released. No charges were filed.
Mosher, 18, told authorities he was trying to empty the .223-caliber rounds to collect the brass casings for scrap.

this is why people should be screened to see if they should become parents. geez.

(via cnn)

they don't need a man

the pussycat dolls don’t need men, but they like to make music videos for them anyway. to see their latest music video “i don’t need a man” press the play button below. but more importantly, how in the hell are they still making videos and releasing singles from albums that are two years old already???

america ferrera and jordin sparks: separated at birth?

as i was flipping through some nameless gossip rag or gossip site or something, i noticed something...american idol semi-finalist jordin sparks and ugly betty star america ferrera look a lot a like. which prompted this little investigation. jordin and america: separated at birth?

first off: america fererra, age 23

d.o.b. 4/18/84 in los angeles, ca

nationality: born to honduran parents

next: jordin sparks, age 17

d.o.b. 12/22/89 in staten island, ny

nationality: bi-racial

hmmm...all signs point to no. but i'm gonna go with some crazy conspiracy theory and say they are twins that were given up for adoption and went to separate families. yeah, let's go with that.

No, Baby, No!

If you don't laugh, you'll be a good parent. If you laugh so hard that you poop, then you're most likely going to hell.

(via Gawker)

upfronts: abc is a big drama queen

upfront week continues in new york city. today, abc day. abc will hold their presentation at lincoln center at 4pm EST, but lucky for us, they've already released their 2007-2008 schedule. here's what we got on tap:

7- number of new dramas
4- number of new comedies
1- number of "alternative" series

returning series include: brothers & sisters, men in trees, ugly betty, grey's anatomy, lost, desperate housewives, boston legal, jimmy kimmel live, dancing with the stars, em: home edition, the bachelor, supernanny, america's funniest home videos, wife swap, october road, and notes from the underbelly. PHEW! that was a mouthful!

here's what the new line up looks like (new shows in bold, all times EST):

MONDAY:

8:00 p.m. "Dancing with the Stars"
9:30 p.m. "Sam I Am" (new comedy series)
10:00 p.m. "The Bachelor"


TUESDAY:
8:00 p.m. "Cavemen" (new comedy series)
8:30 p.m. "Carpoolers" (new comedy series)
9:00 p.m. "Dancing with the Stars the Results Show"
10:00 p.m. "Boston Legal"

WEDNESDAY:
8:00 p.m. "Pushing Daisies" (new drama series)
9:00 p.m. "Private Practice" (new drama series)
10:00 p.m. "Dirty Sexy Money" (new drama series)

THURSDAY:
8:00 p.m. "Ugly Betty"
9:00 p.m. "Grey's Anatomy"
10:00 p.m. "Big Shots" (new drama series)

FRIDAY:
8:00 p.m. "MEN IN TREES"
9:00 p.m. "Women's Murder Club" (new drama series)
10:00 p.m. "20/20"

SATURDAY:
8:00 p.m. "Saturday Night College Football"

SUNDAY:
7:00 p.m. "America's Funniest Home Videos"
8:00 p.m. "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition"
9:00 p.m. "Desperate Housewives"
10:00 p.m. "Brothers & Sisters"

let's talk comedies for a second. sam i am. promising cast (christina applegate, jennifer esposito, jean smart), but "women's" comedies don't really fare well. hell, comedies don't fare well period on this network. but let's keep going. cavemen. based on geico commercials. has nick kroll in it. has amazing and awesome written all over it. carpoolers. ugh, even the title bores me. stars jerry o'connell. NEXT! miss/guided. not on the schedule, but on the press release. this can't be good.

and as far as dramas, SEVEN, count 'em, seven new ones. but, abc has always fared well with the one hour dramas. at least, in the last two years they have. although i don't know about a wednesday night built around ALL NEW shows. kinda gutsy. we've already seen private practice (grey's 2.0). as for the others, who knows. james patterson novel and candace bushnell rip offs.

then we have the oprah show (aka, the "alternative" series). oprah finally finds a way to give away money, but make it back (a la, produce a tv show) all at the same time. something about giving money away to people in different cities. i think i'll just keep watching oprah in the afternoons.

so on day two, nbc has all the good comedies and heroes. but abc has all the good dramas and promising new comedies. i'll call it a tie.

(via the futon critic)

breaking news: god even punishes televangelists

from cnn:

The Rev. Jerry Falwell was found unconscious in his office today and taken to a hospital, a Liberty University executive told a newspaper. Ron Godwin, the executive vice president of Falwell's Liberty University, said Falwell was found unresponsive around 10:45 a.m. and taken to Lynchburg General Hospital. Godwin said he was not sure what caused the collapse, but said Falwell "has a history of heart challenges."

the good news is that when this happens, the rest of us are spared lectures by televangelists. not that i wish a heart attack on anyone. or whatever it is that happened to him.

*UPDATE 1:53PM EST*
-- The Rev. Jerry Falwell has died at age 73, The Associated Press reports.

ok, now i feel bad. you can't make jokes when people died, no matter how much you disagreed with their views and politics (can you?)

Poosbury Doughboy

Warning: Don't laugh so hard after eating Pillsbury Doughboy products!

He Will F**k You Up. Trust.

Note to self: Do not make jokes around Bobby Brown. Especially about prison sex.

lindsay wins at something that has nothing to do with acting

well, lindsay lohan earned a top spot on a covted 'top 100' list. not 'top 100' philanthropists. not a list of influential people. not a list of great actresses (puh-leeze). but instead, a list that many aspiring barbizon models desire to be on. that's right, the maxim top 100 list.

she's bared her boobs, her firecrotch, her coinslot. it's about time maxim exploit all of those things into a centerfold of some sort. lindsay joins the ranks of other former "#1's" like eva longoria, jessica simpson, christina aguilera, jennifer garner, and jessica alba.

and if you're still reading this, here is a list of the other 99 women:

2. Jessica Alba
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Christina Aguilera
5. Jessica Biel
6. Ali Larter
7. Eva Mendez
8. Rihanna
9. Eva Longoria
10. Fergie
11. Sienna Miller
12. Angelina Jolie
13. Beyonce Knowles
14. Katherine Heigl
15. Avril Lavigne
16. Ashlee Simpson
17. Maria Sharapova
18. Megan Fox
19. Cameron Diaz
20. Keira Knightley
21. Kate Beckinsale
22. Nicole Scherzinger
23. Hilary Duff
24. Sophia Bush
25. Elisha Cuthbert
26. Nelly Furtado
27. Kate Hudson
28. Carmen Electra
29. Sarah Silverman
30. Rebecca Romijn
31. Amy Smart
32. Lacey Chabert
33. Roselyn Sanchez
34. Vanessa Minnillo
35. Jennifer Garner
36. Jamie King
37. Ashley Olsen
38. Shakira
39. Rachel Bilson
40. Moon Bloodgood
41. Jessica Simpson
42. Minka Kelly
43. Kate Mara
44. Rose McGowan
45. Bar Refaeli
46. Kristen Bell
47. Katharine McPhee
48. Mandy Moore
49. Mischa Barton
50. Miss Maxim
51. Alessandra Ambrosio
52. Kate Walsh
53. Adriana Lima
54. Missy Peregrym
55. Halle Berry
56. Michele Merkin
57. Tricia Helfer
58. Penelope Cruz
59. Jamie-Lynn Sigler
60. Jessica White
61. Nadine Velazquez
62. Danneel Harris
63. Bianca Kajlich
64. Lena Headey
65. Autumn Reeser
66. Joanna Krupa
67. Gabrielle Union
68. Evangeline Lilly
69. Danica Patrick
70. Stacy Keibler
71. Willa Ford
72. Ciara
73. Mena Suvari
74. Tara Conner
75. April Scott
76. Diora Baird
77. Hilary Burton
78. Joss Stone
79. Adrianne Palecki
80. Abbie Cornish
81. Emmanuelle Chriqui
82. Dita Von Teese
83. Ivanka Trump
84. Hometown Hottie
85. Kelly Ripa
86. Michelle Trachtenberg
87. Padma Lakshmi
88. Raquel Alessi
89. Haylie Duff
90. Salma Hayek
91. Isla Fisher
92. Mary Elizabeth Winstead
93. Christina Milian
94. Kelly Carlson
95. The Avatars of Second Life
96. Shanna Moakler
97. Kim Kardashian
98. Yunjin Kim
99. Mia Maestro
100. Noureen DeWolf

and if you're like me, you probably don't know who half of the girls are once you reach past number 50. so go buy the issue for your little brother who's about to hit puberty or your boyfriend. or just buy it for yourself. i promise, i won't judge.

another celeb-retard: sylvester stallone

actor sylvester stallone has gotten himself in trouble with the law, down under. he pleaded guilty (i.e. his lawyers did it for him) to bringing vials of restricted muscle-building hormones into the australia.

i don't think it's surprising to anyone that stallone uses these hormones. well, he didn't admit to it, but c'mon! smuggling hormones to another country. for what? to sell them? i know rocky balboa was his first decent movie (so i heard) in a decade, but he's not a dealer. and look at the dude. he's 60! you can't stay in that sorta shape without a little "help".

the hormones that stallone brought in aren't narcotics though, but instead a "naturally occurring substance that can be replicated synthetically and is used to build muscle mass". but it can't be taken into australia without a permit.

stallone shrugged off the airport incident. not surprising since the man beat drago in rocky IV. i mean, that russian was HUGE! the australians should have had russell crowe teach him a lesson, but instead, stallone was allowed to leave the country.

recap: heroes "landslide"

*spoiler alert! do not read if you have not watched the episode that originally aired on 5/14*

hiro and ando are in isaac's loft. hiro's moaning over failing to kill sylar, but ando tells him to grow a pair. ando tells them they can have the sword repaired. naturally, in the phone book there's a company that fixes swords (and has the creepy hero logo on it).

across town, the bennett/parkman/ted/petrelli/cheerleader reunion commences. mr. bennett agrees to let claire help "save the world" since it is her destiny. little do they know that sylar is close by and eavesdropping on their plans.

nathan and mr. linderman talk about nathan's political future. as long as nathan lets the bomb explode in nyc, he will be president one day. in the middle of some sappy moment about nathan's dad, nathan's wife interrupts them and he gives her a "gift". he touches her hands and we're lead to believe that he maybe healed her. linderman leaves and nathan and his wife argue about linderman. then of course, shazam! her foot starts moving and she stands up. she's healed!

the superteam (peter/claire/ted) are on their way to "saving the world" and peter overhears sylar overhearing them. peter panics and orders that they "get off the streets". i have no idea what good he thinks that will do, but we'll trust he knows what he's doing.

cut to ando and hiro who run into nathan. hiro tells nathan they are trying to stop the bomb and need his help. but nathan lies through his teeth and says they can't stop the bomb, "nobody can". hiro realizes it's too late to sway him and calls him a "bad guy" and a "villain".

hiro and ando take the broken sword to the shop to see if they can get the sword fixed. the shop keepter tells hiro it depends on "him". the door opens and it's zulu from star trek! hiro's dad! hiro is stunned to see his dad, and his dad tells him he has reached the end of his journey. although he is hesitant to speak to his father, hiro agrees to do so out of respect.

micah and the boring babysitter girl who can change what she looks like sit in the nyc apt. she bribes him with a comic books. keeps him somewhat happy. linderman walks in and says micah can change the world with his ability. and if he helps him, once he's done he can not only go home with his parents, but he'll give them a buttload of cash to be rich and happy forevs.

the superteam is walking down the street and suddenly fbi cuts them off. the blonde chick who was working with parkman arrests ted. claire and peter literally disappear and runaway to save themselves. turns out sylar phoned in an anonymous tip with their location under the alias "isaac mendez".

hiro and his dad talk about his journey and saving the world. and then hiro's dad becomes a total badass and tells hiro he's gonna give him sword lessons so he can kill sylar. AWESOME!

babysitter takes micah to the polls and has him "tell the computers" to vote for nathan petrelli. micah realizes the computers are all on the same network and assures the babysitter nathan will win by a landslide.

more snoozefest, jessica and DL find nathan. nathan wins the election by landslide just as micah said. nathan decides to help jess and DL find micah.

back to more exciting story, hiro and his dad have sword fighting lessons! badassery ensues! so awesome!

parkman and bennett are in some federal building to keep their "stop linderman" plan. they run into jess and DL and join forces.

out of nowhere, the whole molly/surresh storyline pops up. she tells surresh she is cured. she thinks about parkman and tells surresh he is in the building (she's totes right). eric roberts walks in and cuts their plans short because there is a helicopter waiting on the roof to take them to a "safe location". eric roberts is pissed and tries to stop bennett and parkman. and, IT'S A SHOOTOUT! eric roberts tries to kill parkman, but bennett gives him a lead sandwich instead. parkman and bennett make it to surresh and molly. but confusion city...bennett wants to kill molly. surresh has a gun on bennett, bennett has a gun on molly.

it's nighttime now and sylar flips over a police vehicle. he finds ted. he kills him.

back to the fun! hiro and his dad finish their sword lessons. dad is so proud! hiro goes out to find ando, but he is gone. ando has taken a sword to save the world himself.

claire and peter are stuck in traffic trying to get out of the city. they find ted's dead body and realize sylar stole ted's power.

oh this boring story again! jessica and DL find linderman and ask for micah. then linderman plays the money card and offers her millions of dollars if she kills DL. jess pulls the ol' switcheroo and turns into niki. she doesn't kill DL, but linderman shoots him. just as linderman is about to kill jessica, DL does it for her. it is assumed both DL and linderman are dead.

cut to nathan's victory speech. we see a montage of peter and claire, hiro going after ando, micah looking out the window, ando searching for sylar, blonde fbi chick, surresh and bennett. at the end of nathan's speech, we see sylar "practicing" his new power. THE END.

next week, the FINALE! it looks like DL is alive and reunited with jessica and micah. grandma petrelli says the bomb will go off. surresh takes responsibility for micah. parkman might die. claire tells peter the future isn't written in stone. and peter and sylar face off. GAME ON!

sign of the apocolypse: newt gingrich may get into '08 presidential race. for realsies.

on monday's good morning america, former speaker of the house newt gingrich said there is a "very good chance" he'll join the race for the white house.

"I think right now that it is a great possibility," Gingrich said. "I don't want to get into all this stuff. I want to focus on what we have to do to make America successful."

he will decide on his presidential bid around september.

please god, no.

Scientology And Them

From The Daily Mail:

Travolta has urged the BBC to halt the screening of the documentary "Scientology and Me" tomorrow. The star's intervention is the latest in what reporter John Sweeney says is a campaign of intimidation since he embarked on his film, in which former Scientologists claim they were forced to cut themselves off from their families.

Isn't it ironic that this "religion" calls for the shunning of psychiatric medication?

holy hogwarts! new harry potter and the order of the phoenix trailer!

for whatever reason, the geen execs over at warner bros decided to spend money advertising on the survivor: fiji finale last night, which is beyond me since 10 year olds don't watch that junk. and neither do i. but i do paruse different websites, which is how i was lucky enough to find this new :30 second spot. and no, before you ask, i wasn't on emma-watson.net. so without further adieu, enjoy this new harry potter trailer. I. CAN'T. WAIT.

lily allen has liposuction dreams

she's super adorable, makes fun music, and she is finally a hit (sort of). but lily allen has her issues...body issues. in the wee hours of of saturday night/sunday morning, lily posted this myspace message on her blog:

Sunday, May 13, 2007

fat , ugly and shitter than winehouse
that is all i am , im on my own in america again . I used to pride myself on being strong minded and not being some stupid girl obsessed with the way I look . I felt like it didnt matter if I was a bit chubby cause , im not a model , I'm a singer . Im afraid I am not strong and have fallen victim to the evil machine . I write to you in a sea of tears from my hotel bed in Seattle , I have spent the past hour researching gastric bypass surgery , and laser lipo suction .

then here's what the first commenter posted: OMG you've gone mental haven't you?They must have some crazy shit mirrors in the US

first of all, let me just say that i've thought there is a giant mirror conspiracy myself. surely that's not what i look like, right? but in all seriousness, it's sad and kinda relieving that she feels this way. to be honest, she and i probably have the same body type. and i too have accepted i will not be a size 4 or 6 (a girl can dream though, right?). but seriously, this chick has it all and just launched her own clothing line and she's still not happy with her body. like as in, she has HER OWN LINE OF CLOTHING and she can make them WHATEVER SIZE SHE WANTS to fit her! as for the "shittier than winehouse" comment, well, i guess i don't really have anything to make her feel better in that department.

lily, don't do the gastric bypass. the doctors won't let you do that crap unless you're morbidly obese anyway. as for lipo, well, don't sell out...but if you do, can i come with?

upfronts: nbc gives us what we want

nbc is officially holding their upfront presentation today at 3pm at radio city music hall in new york city. luckily for us, the network has already posted what shows are returning, which are cancelled, and what new shows will be added to the line up.

nbc has added five dramas, one comedy, and two new reality/competition shows. also, nbc made additional announcements regarding heroes, earl, and the office. looks like studio 60 has officially gotten the axe (good riddance), as have crossing jordan and the short-lived black donnellys. those that escaped cancellation: friday night lights (i seriously have to start watching it), scrubs, and las vegas (miracle)

-NBC "bulks up" with 30 combined episodes of "Heroes" and "Heroes: Origins," an innovative new spin-off that each week will introduce a new character -- one of whom will be chosen by viewers through the "Heroes" website on NBC.com to become a cast regular the following season.

-The network has ordered 30 half-hours of the hit series "The Office," including five hour-long episodes, and also has increased the season order for "My Name Is Earl" to 25 episodes.

meanwhile, the "comedy night done right" thursday will have the same shows, just in a slightly different order: NBC's acclaimed Thursday "Comedy Night Done Right" lineup will next year lead off with "My Name is Earl" at 8 p.m. (ET), which will be followed by "30 Rock" at 8:30 p.m., the Peabody Award-winning "The Office" at 9 p.m. and "Scrubs" at 9:30.

i can't even to begin to express how excited at the idea of 30 new office episodes...or 25 since five of them will be an hour long. i can't wait!!!!! (insert little girl squeal here)

here's what NBC's line up looks like for the 2007-2008 season:

*New programs in CAPS (with the exception of "ER")

MONDAY 8-9 p.m. "Deal or No Deal" 9-10 p.m. "Heroes"10-11 p.m. "JOURNEYMAN"

TUESDAY 8-9 p.m. "The Biggest Loser"9-10 p.m. "CHUCK"10-11 p.m. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"

WEDNESDAY 8-9 p.m. "Deal or No Deal" 9-10 p.m. "BIONIC WOMAN" 10-11 p.m. "LIFE"

THURSDAY 8-8:30 p.m. "My Name Is Earl" 8:30-9 p.m. "30 Rock"9-9:30 p.m. "The Office" 9:30-10 p.m. "Scrubs"10-11 p.m. "ER"

FRIDAY 8-9 p.m. "1 vs 100"/"THE SINGING BEE" 9-10 p.m. "Las Vegas" 10-11 p.m. "Friday Night Lights"

SATURDAY 8-9 p.m. "Dateline NBC"9-11 p.m. Drama Series Encores

SUNDAY (Fall 2007)7-8 p.m. "Football Night in America" 8-11 p.m. "NBC Sunday Night Football"

SUNDAY (January 2008)7-8 p.m. "Dateline NBC"8-9 p.m. "Law & Order"9-10 p.m. "Medium"10-11 p.m. "LIPSTICK JUNGLE"

for more info on the new shows, click here.

(via the futon critic)

from the desk of: the publicist

Kelly Clarkson will guest on The SIRIUS Hits 1 Morning Mash Up and open up about her pick for this year’s American Idol and her relationship with the show. She also addresses rumors about her third album, My December slated to be released July 24, 2007, as well as talking about her worst blind date ever, and much more.

Kelly Clarkson’s third album My December is slated to be released by RCA later this summer.

The SIRIUS interview will air May 18 @ 7 am, 8 am, 9 am, and 10 am (All times Eastern).

*update* below are excerpts from her interview with sirius:

on who will win american idol:

SIRIUS Hits 1: So who do you think is winnin’?

KELLY CLARKSON: I think Jordin.

SIRIUS Hits 1: That’s what we said.

KELLY CLARKSON: I like Blake he’s interesting. He’s new, something different, and I think he did really good with the Bon Jovi song, but I think either Blake or Jordan.

in her free time:
SIRIUS Hits 1: How is it to hang with Kelly Clarkson? What do you do for fun? You seem like the coolest chick we’ve ever had on the show.

KELLY CLARKSON: I like to drink with my friends. I like to go out. I love “Guitar Hero.” Oh my God, have ya’ll played it?

SIRIUS Hits 1: That is a dope game.

KELLY CLARKSON: I’m addicted to this game! I feel like I’m not a videogame girl and then all of a sudden my friends are like, ‘You’re gonna love this! So just try it!’ So I go out and I get it. It’s almost like it’s attached to my body, the guitar, and it’s a video game! But it’s kinda like the Wii, like you play tennis and you just kinda do that. It’s so much fun. We’re taking it on tour. It’s the most amazing game. I do a lot with my friends, ha ha!

on dating:
SIRIUS Hits 1: Is it hard for you to date? Is it hard for Kelly Clarkson to go out there and date?

KELLY CLARKSON: Oh, it is. I mean, it’s hard dating in general. But it’s definitely hard when everyone in the world knows who you are. So that’s hard.

SIRIUS Hits 1: What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

KELLY CLARKSON: Oh my God, oh my God, this is the worst date. Ok, I have never done the blind date thing, except for one time in my life, and it was this guy who wouldn’t stop asking his friend, and I’d never met him, and apparently he kept coming into the club I was cocktailing at, and he kept telling his friend, “Get her to go out with me.’ So, long story, after like months of this happening, I finally go out with him. The guy is a little short, like he’s a little taller than me. I’m obviously 5’ 3 ½,” I’m not a giant. So anyway I have no problem with it. I don’t care, you’re taller than me, like so I’m fine with it. And he literally, the entire date, he made self deprecating jokes about his height, and I was like, ‘You are like the word turnoff in the dictionary, and you’re right besides it.’