ex-bachelor taking donald trump's leftovers

according to in touch magazine:

Donald Trump’s ex has fallen for Bachelor star Andy Baldwin. The handsome Navy doctor, 30, and former beauty queen Marla Maples, 44, first met back in September at a charity event in LA. They reunited in New York City over New Year’s weekend, where they were spotted holding hands and cuddling. “Marla is a great woman and I can’t wait to spend more time with her in the future,” Andy reveals exclusively to In Touch. “She’s smart, sexy and very genuine.” Donald and Marla’s daughter, Tiffany, joined them for dinner at Serafina. They spent December 30 holding hands while skating at the Wollman Rink, which had been developed by The Donald.

ugh, seriously? didn't he watch "ex wives club" on nbc? doesn't he realize she is one angry cougar? and seriously, do you want to stick your ding dong where donald trump's peepee has been?

spoiler alert...eh, no one watches the bachelor anyway

according to the ny post, the identity of the the bachelor's paramour has been revealed!

for those of you who actually care, keep reading.

the ny post writes:

Naval officer Andy Baldwin has narrowed the field of women down to three lucky ladies, but one contestant, Tessa, 26, a social worker from San Francisco, had a few drinks the other night and spilled the beans to a Page Six spy. Tessa admitted she has won the competition and Baldwin's heart. "Apparently he proposes and she declines, but they are still very much together." A rep for the show didn't return calls.

hmm...so first of all, she admitted she "won". do you win at dating? no seriously. i'm asking. it's been so long since i've been on a real date that i forgot.

secondly, they describe it as a comptetition. and i'm not trying to negate that it is in fact a competition. but there's something strange about trying to find "true love" and "soul mates" and all that crap in something that is described as a competition.

but like i said, it's been so long since i've been on a date that i'd hate to eat my own words and go to one of these open casting calls. someone help me.

casting call: desperate women wanted to bare all (emotionally and clothing wise)

tired of the local bar scene? can't meet a nice guy at church? did you not meet that man of your dreams at that sexaholics anonymous meeting? fear no more! abc's dating franchise, the bachelor, is casting for it's 11th (!) season.

if you live in austin, chicago, new york, los angeles, atlanta, or nashville, and are available between may 6th and may 22nd, you should maybe check out one of the open casting calls.

i will admit to having watched than more of my fair share of episodes. but i have to say i don't understand why these women would feel like going on this show could honestly work. first of all, the show is in it's 10th season. of those previous nine bachelors, i think maybe ONE of them is still with their significant other. MAYBE two. and from the two previous bachelorettes, one is married, the other relationship was dissolved like an alka-seltzer in water.

so again, why go on tv? IF you make it to the final cut of 25 women, you still have only a 4% chance of actually getting the guy in the end. i just don't see why if you were willing to do something like this, you wouldn't feel more comfortable creating a personal ad on match.com or jdate or something. i have to imagine the odds on dating sites are greater than 4%. but who knows. i live in new york city and am single. hmmm....where are those casting calls again?

for those of you that decide to go to said casting calls or fill out the application, here are a few pointers:

1) as of the last few seasons, there seems to be one virgin in the bunch. so if you've been wearing a chastity belt all your life, you've got something that most women over the age of 18 don't. kudos. not to mention, guys like the idea of a virgin for some reason. either that or they're completely terrified that you'll obsess over the idea of marriage before having sex. but you're on a show where the goal is to get married, so i think you're safe in that department.

2) being a raging alcoholic makes for great tv. during those "getting to know" each other premiere episodes, there's always the girl that has too much to drink and falls or breaks something. i'm sure if you mentioned you've attended an aa meeting or two, you are ahead of the game.

3) obsess over marriage! and babies! there's always one crazy girl that feels like she is god's gift to men and has no idea why she is still single! she seems to ignore the fact that her constant talking about wanting to get married and having babies might scare guys away.

4) oh, it helps if you're white.

so there you have it. what are you waiting for. start making that home video to send in to the casting directors!