lil' bratz dolls come to life in the form of paris hilton clones

i was always more of a barbie fan than bratz (not that bratz were available when i was a kid). but remember how barbie had her little sister stacy? and there were usually some sort of ethnic friends or family members in the form of asian and african and hispanic barbie equivalents?

now take those elements of barbie, the skankiness of bratz, and the brutal reality of paris hilton and her new clothing line, and this is what you get:

(via us weekly)

morning bits & buzz

paris hilton's interview on larry king last night was as exciting as watching paint dry (so i've heard...i didn't watch). the media is trashing how she presented herself, but it probably was huge in the ratings for cnn. but hopefully not, and this could be the beginning of the world not caring about paris hilton anymore.

it's official. the spice girls are reuniting for a mini-world tour. i've already marked my calendar busy for december 11th.

my new favorite website is soundpedia, in case you were wondering. you can listen to almost any album on there. i think i'll listen to some spice girls to hype myself up for said reunion.

leave it to vh1 to develop a reality show "inspired by ugly betty" that follows "unattractive" women (their words, not mine) and throws them to the pits of the fashion industry. ugh.

and in completely random and personal news, i had a dream about this guy last night and it was UH-MAZE-ING. um, yeah.

morning bits & buzz

ocean's 13 star ellen barkin may or may not be digging her cougar claws into ralph fiennes.

sure, the kelly clarkson and beastie boys albums may have come out today. but if you're not sure you want to download them on itunes yet, you can listen to the entire albums here.

no hiding it: john travolta wears wigs. and bad ones at that.

zach braff sets the record straight: he's not a douchebag, but he IS single and dating and having fun in nyc this summer.

james blunt tops the most irritating songs of all time with "you're beautiful" (which i agree with). i DON'T however agree with mika's "grace kelly" being on there. i love that song (shhhhh).

oh, and paris is out of jail (i was in denial to believe this wouldn't take up half of tmz's homepage).

paris to barbara: "i will never again drink and drive"

this morning on the view, barbara walters spoke with kathy hilton (mom of jailbird paris hilton) when paris herself rang on the other line and asked to speak to barbara.

now i haven't watched the view today, but here's a transcript of what paris told wawa:

On life after jail: I want to do different things when I’m out of here. I used to act dumb. It was an act. And that act is no longer cute. It’s not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me. I’m 26-years-old and it’s a different time.

On finding God: I’ve become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance. My spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail. God has released me.

On future projects: Hilton would like to help in the field of breast cancer [her maternal grandmother suffered from the disease]) or Multiple Sclerosis [her paternal grandmother was afflicted with the illness]. She might get toy companies to build a Paris Hilton playhouse for children, where sick children might come.

On passing the time behind-bars: Walters said Hilton has been reading newspapers like the LA Times and The Wall Street Journal. She is also reading books like The Secret, The Power of Now and The Bible. On learning her lesson the hard way: I will never again drink and drive.

i'm not sure what my favorite part is...when she said she "acted" dumb and that 26-year old girls don't do that....that she reads the WSJ...that she's found God...or that she's reading the secret. even from behind bars she has found a way to annoy me.

my week is now complete

this photo needs no explanation. it speaks for itself.
i love the judge who made her serve the rest of her sentence in jail.

disappointing news of the day

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Hotel heiress Paris Hilton was let out of prison early on Thursday morning and will spend the rest of her sentence for violating probation confined to her home, the Los Angeles sheriff said.
She was fitted with an electronic monitoring device on her ankle and sent home, where she will be confined for 40 days, said Steve Whitmore of the L.A. County Sheriff's office.
He said the decision was made for medical reasons.

SERIOUSLY? MEDICAL REASONS? like what? genital herpes? anorexia? ugh.

so much for 23 paris-free days.

the day is finally here...

...paris hilton has finally gone to jail.

let's look at this mugshot though. i thought she was going to have her extentions taken out (cause she had to, not cause she had a choice)? and all this make up. i was really hoping for an au naturel mug shot.

all of that aside, paris hilton finally surrendered herself to authorities. that is of course after an afternoon of partying at the mtv movie awards. too bad people were making numerous jokes at her expense and cheering on the fact that she would be going to jail in a matter of hours.

let's hope this is the beginning of 23 paris hilton-free days.

paris hilton to write words in diary & make millions

according to the ny daily news, paris hilton is going to keep a diary during her 23-day jail stint and turn it into a book. she will of course no doubtedly make millions. i won't buy it, but i'll be happy to read what she writes about as it will turn up on the internet i'm sure.

also, paris has apparently hired a hair & makeup team to get her ready when she reports to jail: Sources say the jail-bound heiress has ordered a hair and makeup team to meet her at her Hollywood Hills home at 9 a.m. Monday. It's understood that the glamorous inmate-to-be plans to turn the perp walk into a catwalk, and she wants the media to see her looking her best.

leave it to paris to turn going to jail into a red carpet event. at least i'll be living a paris-free life for 23 days.

paris uses monopoly card

according to people magazine, it is very possible that paris hilton might only serve HOURS of her 45 day sentence.

"She could be processed into jail and processed out hours later – that's possible," says spokesman Steve Whitmore, whose department runs the jail. It would mainly be due to the jail overcrowding issue. It all depends on the inmate population at the time she's processed." Whitmore adds: "But the public can expect that the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department will make the best decision for everyone involved. We will treat [Hilton] as we would any other. That's our goal."

treat her like ANY other? would you let a drug dealer serve only hours of their 45 day sentence? looks like that "get out of jail free card" might exist. but you have to be a celebrity and extremely bratty to use it.

i'd be happy if she just served a week. please god, let it be at least a week.

george maloof supports paris (sorta)

it is known that paris hilton loves to party in vegas. sometimes at the palms. after all, she's basically bff's (maybe once bff's with benefits if you catch my drift) with george maloof, one of the owners of the palms resort and casino in las vegas.

this is what the marquee looks right now:

awww, they love her. oh wait, what's that? it reads "trip" in really tiny font right below the huge "free paris" wording. what's that? it's really a promotion for their bistro buffet. apparently when you buy a meal at the buffet you get a chance at winning a free trip to paris. ahhhh. sneaky.

in related news, the la times is reporting that paris might only have to serve half of her 45 day jail sentence.

(via tmz)

paris hilton's desperate efforts reach new lows

people magazine is reporting that paris hilton is actively involved in a grassroots campaign to keep her from going to county jail.

monday, paris posted a message on her myspace blog urging her fans (they exist??) to sign a petition that was created by her friend joshua. it reads:

Monday, May 07, 2007

My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!
NLINE PETITION CREATED TO SUPPORT PARIS HILTON To sign the FREE PARIS HILTON petition to Governor Schwarzenegger that I have created... please go here:

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/PH21781

I urge all fans and supporters and all that are outraged by injustice to sign this petition.
6:38 AM

i take it by the typo and the timestamp, that she wasn't sober when she posted this. i'm actually kind of proud that she can turn on a computer and login to myspace all by herself without any sort of assistance. especially while intoxicated.

i like that for once, it looks like her money and fame are absolutely useless. and to be honest, her 45 days in jail couldn't possibly be too bad. she gets three meals a day, which is probably more than she eats now. she gets to live with a roommate. and she'll probably be the most popular girl in that joint. it'll be like the college experience she never had.

(via people)